I Could Only Whisper Your Name
by the female apophis
Summary: Memories that aren't my own...


**I Could Only Whisper Your Name**

By: the female apophis

**Disclaimer**: Oh, how I wish that I did own them. Then, of course, Sam and Jack would already be together and have at least one kid. Have you ever noticed that in JAG Mac and Harm are together even though they're in the same chain of command? Why is that? Is the Navy/Marines that much different from the Air Force? I mean, they're still in the same chain of command, so why is it different? Okay, I'll shut up now since this was supposed to be the disclaimer, not a matter of technicality.

**Rating**: PG-13, bordering on R.

**Pairings**: Jolinar/Martouf and very, very slight mention of Sam/Jack

**Summary**: I'm afraid that if I say anything, it'll give the story away...

**Type**: angst/romance

**Archive**: as long as you ask me first, I won't have a problem with it.

**Songs**: Possibly, I haven't decided yet. If you see one, then obviously, I decided to put one in here.

**Other Stuff**: I wouldn't count on it this time folks.

**Warning:** little bit. it's a UST story, but nothing ooberly major.

A/N: Okay, I'll admit, it may get kinda creepy in a couple of places. Don't worry though, I meant for it to be that way. Hope you like it!

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

As she settled in for the night, she couldn't help but wonder when he was gonna get back. She silently wished that it would be soon. The bed always seemed so lonely when he wasn't there with her.

Just after she had fallen asleep, she was suddenly awoken by the sound of her door opening.

Turning towards the now open doorway, she smiled when she saw her lover standing there, sporting a grin of his own.

"I came as soon as I could."

"I am glad you did."

He crept towards her, and it wasn't long before he had her captured in his arms in a mind-blowing kiss.

"I have missed you so much."

"And I you."

Soon, the two were making love, the three moons light providing the romance they needed.

His blue eyes burned into hers, and she could see the love behind their icy depths.

Before long though, the sun began to rise, and with a final kiss, the lovers drifted off to sleep.

"Goodnight Roshna."

"Goodnight Martouf."

Sam sat up with a start, her whole body shaking.

This was the most intense dream she had had to date.

This string of dreams had started just after she had actually met Martouf.

And honestly, she couldn't say she didn't like them.

She remembered vividly the passion and the love in which these two had shared. She had told him as much.

But what she was afraid to tell everyone about was the downright erotic dreams that she was having.

She didn't want to have these dreams; she didn't want to think about how long the two would make love.

And yet, every night, it still happened. And then she would wake up, and every fiber of her screamed for more, even though she kept telling herself it was wrong.

Of course, so was loving your commanding officer, and she had broken that rule when she first met him.

With that thought, she lay back down and drifted off back to sleep.

-=-=-=-

"Carter, you feeling alright?"

"Yes sir. I'm just a bit tired. I didn't get that much sleep last night."

"I can tell. Listen, we're not planning on going anywhere today, why don't you just chill for a while. We'll call you if we need you."

"Thanks sir. I've got some stuff in my lab..."

"Ah, Carter, no work. I want you to relax."

"Okay..."

"Better yet, why don't I go talk to Hammond. We'll go somewhere for the day. Just you and me."

"What about Daniel and Teal'c?"

"Daniel's working on some kind of translation and Teal'c's helping him. He specifically told me this morning that he didn't want to be disturbed for anything, unless it was an absolute emergency."

"Yes sir." She replied, a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.

"Well, you go get changed, and I'm gonna go talk to Hammond."

"Sir, shouldn't I wait until after you're done talking to him?"

"Good point. I'll meet you in my office in say...twenty minutes?"

"Sounds good sir."

As the two officers headed their separate ways, Jack couldn't help but wonder what it was that was really bothering Sam.

-=-=-=-=-=-

"Come."

"Sir, a word."

"Ah, Colonel. Come on in. What can I do for you son?"

"I wanted to ask you if Carter and I could sneak off for the day."

"What for?"

"Something's been bugging her of late sir. I can tell just by looking at her she hasn't been sleeping all that much. I wanted to take her out and hopefully get her to open up some."

"Permission granted. In fact, I'm giving you forty-eight hours of downtime. Have fun Jack."

"Will do sir."

Flashing his patented O'Neill smile, he strolled out of Hammond's office and towards his office.

Of course, nothing prepared him for the sight that greeted his eyes upon reaching his office.

"Carter, what are you doing?"

"Catching you up on your paperwork sir."

"I noticed that. But why are you doing it?"

"Sir, some of these reports are six months overdue."

"So, another two days won't kill them."

"Two days sir?"

"Yeah, Hammond's given us forty-eight hours off. So, what do you say you and I go do something?"

She smiled before rising from behind his desk.

"I get the locker room first."

"Okay."

As she sauntered out of his office, he suddenly noticed that she had just agreed.

And that she had just gotten him to let her use the locker room first.

"HEY!" he called at her, watching as her head suddenly disappeared around the corner.

Smiling to himself, he simply headed in that direction prepared to wait for as long as it took her.

-=-=-=-=-=-

Looking over at him, she couldn't help but wonder what was going on in his head.

Little did she know he was wondering the same thing about her.

"Martouf? Is something wrong?"

"I am unsure."

"Would you like to talk about it?"

"What really happened on Netu? You're refusing to tell me, and it's bothering me Roshna."

"I am sorry Martouf..."

"Then tell me what it is."

"It's nothing that you will ever need to worry over."

"Are you sure?"

She didn't want to lie to him, but she couldn't stand knowing of the pain that the truth would cause him.

"I am sure. Now, come. To bed with us."

His smile seemed to ease her troubles, letting her know that he did believe her.

-=-=-=-=-=-

"Carter...Sam, you okay?"

"Yeah, just thinking."

"Well, if you're not careful, you're gonna end up running into something."

Glancing up, she noticed that she was actually about to run into a pole. This was an experience she really didn't feel like repeating, having done it once before.

"Thanks."

"Don't mention it. Now, what were you thinking about?"

"It's nothing. Don't worry about it."

He raised an eyebrow skeptically.

"What?"

"You didn't call me sir."

"So? You're calling me Sam."

"Then why won't you call me Jack?"

She simply smiled before heading off towards the park, Jack catching up to her after left staring after her for a few seconds.

As they stepped into the shaded area, the silence reigned over them.

It wasn't long before they found a bench, and silently they agreed to sit.

"So, you wanna tell me what's buggin' you?"

"It's nothing Jack."

"Really?"

"Yeah..."

He wasn't convinced, that much was obvious. But he also wasn't going to question her further, knowing that if he were needed, she would come to him.

"It's just that...lately, I've been having these dreams."

"What kind of dreams?"

"Memories."

"Of?"

"Martouf and Jolinar...Roshna...both of them."

"That's what you were telling the doc a few weeks ago."

"Yeah. But these..."

"Sam?" he gently prodded. He figured that if he didn't get her to talk now, he'd never be able to again.

"They're more...intimate."

"How intimate?"

Staring at him, she realized that he was being absolutely serious, he really wanted to help her out.

"I've had some dreams...memories of the two of them making love."

"How often have you been having these Sam? I'm serious."

"They started about a week after I first met Martouf."

He couldn't believe his ears.

"Six months?!"

"Yeah..."

He noticed the blush raise to her cheeks, giving her have an almost fevered look.

"There's nothing to be ashamed about Sam."

"Isn't there? I mean, I'm having sexual dreams about these two aliens..."

"One of whom possessed your body, leaving every thought and feeling behind in here." He countered, placing a finger to her temple. "You can't help it."

"Can't I?"

"No. You can't change what happened to you anymore then the rest of us could. If given the chance, I would make this go away, but personally, I think it may have changed you...for the better."

"You really feel that way?"

"Yes, Sam, I do."

During his little 'pep talk' his arm had migrated around her shoulder's, causing him to subconsciously pull her closer to him.

So here she was, nestled to her commanding officers chest as he traced lazy circles on her shoulder.

"Thank you Jack." She mumbled from her position on his chest.

"You're welcome Sam."

She raised her head until she was looking him right in the eye, and she bit her lip before glancing at his.

"No, thank you."

Before he had the chance to do anything, her lips were on his.

It was a chaste kiss, but it was a kiss nonetheless.

"What was that for?" he questioned as they pulled apart.

"That, was for being such a friend. For being more than a commanding officer. You're the only one who's ever done that."

"Well, if that's the case..." he whispered before pressing his lips to hers again.

"That was for being the best damn second in command I could ask for. For being a fantastic friend."

Her head migrated to his shoulder again.

If anyone had've passed by just then, they would have thought that these two were a couple, possibly even a married couple.

They both just seemed so familiar with each other, the way that only lovers really can be.

"Jack, do you ever think we'll be more than just...friends?"

"I don't know yet. It's always a possibility."

"I had a feeling you would say that."

"Really?"

"Yeah. But I guess that's just one of the many things that I..." she faltered, her lips suddenly between her teeth again.

"Sam?"

"It's one of the things that I...love...about you Jack."

"Love?"

"Yeah."

"Did you just say that you...loved me?"

"I think I did, yeah." She replied, the blush returning in full force to her face.

"I love you too."

A few seconds of silence hovered over the two before Sam broke it.

"So, where does that leave us?"

"I say we let things just run their course...see where it takes us."

"Sounds good."

"Good, now if we don't hurry, we're gonna miss our dinner reservations."

"You made reservations?"

"Yeah. I've gotta get you home, so you can get changed. I'll be back to pick you up at six thirty. How's that sound?"

"Like a plan."

"Okay. Now come, let's go."

He stood, before offering her his hand, which she gladly accepted.

As he pulled her to her feet, he gave her a light peck on the forehead before letting her go.

-=-=-=-=-=-

Climbing between the sheets that night, she closed her eyes, fearing that the dreams would return again.

But they didn't.

Not those dreams at least.

These weren't about the love and passion shared between Roshna and Martouf.

But of the love and passion shared between her and Jack.

These were dreams that, for now, she could handle.

-fin=

Okay, this is another story that just kinda took it's own course. My muse had fun with this one, even if my freezing fingers didn't.

But I would still love to know what you thought of this!


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